Some facts of life

I know, I dropped off the face of the earth there. Whoops. No huge story or dramatic comeback is happening, folks. Sorry to disappoint. I just felt the itch to write, so here I am. Ta-daaaaaa.

I am watching So You Think You Can Dance and every time I do, I start pirouetting around the house. I should probably talk to my doctor about this.

A friend said to me recently, “Wow, your hair is BLOND!” To which I responded, “It’s really more of a pre-white.” Then I giggled uncontrollably because we all know I’m my own biggest fan and find myself hilarious and feel the need to share this narcissism with the world.

Also, Matthew on SYTYCD reminds me of a young Ryan Gosling and then I realized that I actually remember what Young Hercules Ryan Gosling looks like. This probably explains the pre-whitening of my hair.

OK, now that I got my giggles out of the way, here are a few thinks I have thinked this summer:

1) At my brother’s high school graduation, upon hearing yet another commencement speech extolling the virtues of You Are Special and You Will Do Great Things That No One Else Can Do, I decided I need to sign up to be the guest speaker for next year’s graduation. Here is my speech: You’re not that special. There are lots of people who can do what you do. Go to college, don’t go to college, I don’t really care. But do get a job and whatever it is, do it well. Show up on time and show your boss and co-workers some respect. Don’t trample over someone to get a promotion and say thank you. Find someone to love and marry them (or don’t) and have babies (or don’t) and make friends and smile at the cashier and let your neighbor borrow a cup of sugar. Say hi to your mom for me, read good books and take long walks. Let other people go through the door first and ask your friend if she just needs to talk. Take vacations and help your friends move. Stop asking yourself if you are doing Enough or if you’re Fulfilling Your Purpose In Life or Being All That You Can Be. Do whatever you want, just think of other people first. What this guy said, basically.

2) That chicken thing that was all over the news lately? You know, the place that’s closed on Sundays. Eat there if you want. Don’t if you don’t want. But both sides, really, do we want to pick chicken as our mascot in this discussion? Think about that. CHICKEN. Can we do better, people? I submit that WE CAN.

3) (I interrupt this scholarly list to inform you that now I’m watching a rerun of The Office. Can we all agree that the Season 2 Christmas Yankee Swap episode is one of the most awkward ever? JUST TAKE THE TEAPOT PAM. Ahem. Back to regularly scheduled programming)

4) When did what we do become more important than who we are? Chew on that with me, will you? I know, this is basically the short version of #1 but different but kind of similar but not exactly.

OK, I think that’s pretty good for a comeback post. Yes? No? Maybe next time we’ll discuss how disproportionately excited I am for the fall TV lineup. That post will probably be titled, “Get a Life, Lucy,” but oh, it will be glorious or, at the very least, mediocre.


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